One special lady

Every year I wonder why I didn't choose to become a teacher.  Then the first day of school rolls around and the last day of school rolls around and I am reminded why I didn't become a teacher.  I don't have patience!  I love kids, don't get me wrong, but I think God gives teachers a special kind of patience that the rest of us just don't have.  Well, this year was no exception, especially for my kids' teachers!  So, if you know me, you know I will give credit where credit is due, so now, let me tell you about a wonderful woman and teacher!

I was a little skeptical with Belicia entering the second grade because I didn't know what to expect.  When that first week rolled around, I wondered how in the world we were going to do it all!  The words were hard, there was lots of homework, and man, I was just in awe.  I kind of knew Belicia's teacher due to Little Dribblers and such, but didn't really KNOW her.  Well, that was going to change this year!  So the year started out a little shaky, and I was up in arms.  I didn't know what to do, but it seemed to me that Belicia was just not getting second grade.  I set up parent/teacher conferences, but still felt that I was getting anywhere and no one would listen to me.  I knew something was wrong, just didn't know what it was.  Well, luckily, Belicia had the best teacher ever!  Ashley Day listened to my concerns, she voiced hers, she worked with me almost everyday it seemed.  She encouraged me, she had so much patience with me and with Belicia it is unreal.  She loves my child.  Not to say that she doesn't love all of her children in her classes, but I knew she loved mine by the way she helped us all.  Belicia had a rough start to the school year, but toward the middle, we finally got some help and things started looking up for Belicia.  During this whole second grade process Mrs. Day continued to work with Belicia, continued to have patience, continued to have concern and always kept me informed and in the loop.  I could not have asked for a kinder more wonderful person to get us through this school year.

The wonderful thing about this whole situation is that this is what God had for Mrs. Day.  God gives each of us gifts, and I am so glad that he gave Mrs. Day hers.  So many times we don't use our gifts, or we push them to the side or we just do them half of the way.  But that is not what God intended for our gifts, and I am thankful that Mrs. Day was not one of those people.  She showed me the love of Christ through every part of this second grade year.  Thanks will never be enough.  But Mrs. Day, I do thank you, I do love you, and I am so thankful and blessed to have been able to work with you through this whole second grade experience.  Although rough at times, well worth every step.

So, when you think about teachers, think about that special one that changed your life.  Be thankful that there are teachers that "deal" with our children most of the day while they are in school.  Be thankful that they choose that career and that God gives them the patience, gifts, talents, and love for all of those children.  I am adding some pictures from Belicia and Tony's last day of school.  Thank you to all of the teachers at QES, QJH, and QHS.  I don't know where any of us would be without teachers!

The most amazing teacher ever, Ashley Day!!

The only girls in Belicia's class!  Katie was showing off that she could carry Belicia like a baby!

Miss Sandifer, another wonderful teacher!  I don't know how she did it!

Tony's Kindergarten class, well the boys anyway!

Coach Shak!  Tony spent many days in his office, but Tony still loved him!

Life is NOT like a box of chocolates

Well, it isn't!!  The truth is, I love chocolate, and life is nothing like it.  I enjoy eating a box of chocolate, and I savor every bite, unless it is coconut, then I stop eating.  Well, life and friends can be like that as well.  A lesson I have had to learn the hard way recently.

Well a lot has been going on the past several weeks, so I can fill you in.  I already blogged about the pageant, and yes, I need to get some pictures up, but that will have to wait a little longer! LOL!  The past several weeks I have dealt with so much heartache and realization all at the same time.  I have been battling a horrible accusation from my ex-husband.  This could have torn our family apart, but it only made us stronger.  And what have I learned from this?  Some of the people you thought you could trust and you thought were your friends, end up being the ones that hurt you.  You see, I thought my ex's current wife and I were friends, but I come to find out that we aren't.  I have realized that there are people who appear to be strong, but are truly cowards.  Why do people insist on ruining other people's lives?  Are their lives so horrible that they feel the need to ruin someone else's?  You see, the way I handle situations is to sit and talk about them.  Let's get everything out on the table, and let's talk.  Don't go and make false accusations, call police, call other authorities without going to the problem first.  But alas, I guess I am a better person than some.  I am not a coward, no, I will confront you and ask you to sit down like adults and talk about it.  But other people feel the need to deny any wrongdoing, all while secretly plotting to destroy a life, a family, a person they called a friend.  This is why life is not like a box of chocolates.
The funny thing about all of this is, we were innocent the whole time.  This was proved in the end, so God still had the victory!  You see, I am a human being.  I am a person.  I have feelings.  I hurt, I bleed, I cry, I scream, and I love.  When I call you a friend, this means that I will support you, talk to you, work things out when things seem to be going wrong.  I will not undermine you, I will not create problems for your family, I will not do hurtful, painful, devestating things to you.  But I guess there are those people that will.  And do you know what is so bad about all of this?  I cannot seek the revenge that I so long to do.  You see, I am a follower of Christ.  Christ loved his enemies, I mean, he washed the feet of the person who betrayed him and the person who denied him!  He also spoke and said that vengeance is His, so I cannot do anything.  Everything in me screams and fights against this, but I know that being the bigger and better person will win in the end.  But my human nature is tearing up inside just wanting to explode and destroy something. 
But do you know what the even better part of all of this is?  God is in control!  Instead of dividing a family, this brought them closer together.  Instead of turning a mother against her child or vice versa, they have only brought them closer together.  You see, Christ is always in control.  He was, He is, and He forever will be.  One day, people will see that.  One day, I will be able to look those same people in the eye and tell them that I forgive them.  That may take time, but I know it will happen, because God command us to forgive our enemies.  But all in due time my friends, all in due time.
As I finish this up, I am reminded of a song that I heard a lot during all of this mess.
I know I'm not strong enough to be
everything that I'm supposed to be
I give up
I'm not stong enough
Hands of mercy won't you cover me
Lord right now I'm asking you to be
Strong enough
Strong enough
For the both of us
I know that God came in and took care of us all.  I know that He has been watching over me my entire life.  I will never give up, I will fight, and I will never back down.  People may take me as a naive, sweet, mellow woman, but that is far from the truth.  I am just a woman who has given EVERYTHING to the Lord, so it is Him that works through me.  You see, I am dead, but alive in Christ!

Yes, I am still alive...............I think so anyway!

So, I must apologize for not blogging for so long!  I know how you long to read my blogs, don't you?  LOL!!  I'm just kidding!  But I didn't realize how long it had been until I started reading other people's blogs and realized it had been over a month since I last blogged!  WOW!  Time flies!  Well, it has been a rough month or more, thus the reason I have not blogged in a while!  So, let's go back to when the madness began shall we??
My oldest daughter Katelyn decided she wanted to be in the Junior Miss Dogwood pageant back in January.  I was very skeptical because pageants just aren't her thing.  I asked her almost every week to make sure that she really wanted to do it, but she never hesitated and never changed her mind.  I finally began to enjoy the experience with her, dressing her up, seeing how much she is growing and becoming ever so beautiful.  So a little over a month ago the everyday practices began, so this is where I dropped off the face of the earth I think!
Practices were good, just stressful for me.  The girls had fun, and I wanted them to practice and be serious.  I eventually got over that and just enjoyed spending the time with her and watching her laugh and talk with the other moms.  It was bliss I tell you, pure bliss.  Then the pageant finally showed up!  Man, she was beautiful and held herself very well. Her on-stage question was done so much better than she had practiced and she was poised and beautiful.  I could not have been prouder!  I wanted to cry on so many occasions, but my pride swelled up inside and all I could do was stand in awe. 
I know that as parents, we will make mistakes and that as teenagers, they will say and do things that are hurtful, but I know that we are all growing through this process.  But as I watch her, I continuously pray that God would lead her and that she would follow.  She has an amazing heart, a contagious personality and she is growing into a beautiful young woman.

Little girls grow up

I still remember the day that I had her.  She was so tiny and precious, and I never wanted to let her go.  It was still amazing that I was able to hold her and kiss her and love her.  I had so much love to give to her, and it just overflowed the minute they placed her in my arms.  It seems like only yesterday that she was hiding in the kitchen cabinets, running down the hall of our apartment, learning how to use the potty, dumping full bottles of shampoo into the bathtub, you know kids things!  LOL!!  But now, she is this beautiful young lady, and I wonder where my little child went.


Today she began the long 2 week process of the Junior Dogwood Pageant.  She did this pageant when she was 7 years old, but now they have it for 13 year olds and she has decided to enter.  I always knew that my child was beautiful, but as I watch her grow and become her own person, she continues to amaze me.  Her beauty is not just an outward appearance, but also a strong inward appearance.  I continue to look at her pictures from the parade, and I wonder where the time went.  I wonder how fast the next 5 years are going to go.  I know that I can't hold her hand forever, but I sure would like to.  I must admit, I have had fun dressing her  up and getting ready for the pageant, although it has had it's very stressful moments.  I don't even care if she wins or not at this point, I have just enjoyed the time with her.  I have loved seeing her in dresses, and flowers in her hair.  I have enjoyed seeing the excitement in her eyes when we got something for her dress, or when her Grammie found the perfect necklace.  Those moments of joy and laughter and fun are worth every minute.  Thank you Lord for giving me this time with my daughter.  I will cherish it always, and I am so thankful that you gave her to me to watch over and to grow.  I only pray that I have done and will continue to do a good job.  Amen

Trust and betrayal..............

I always wondered how Jesus still loved Judas, even when He knew that Judas would betray Him.  I wondered how He felt and if His heart hurt.  Well, tonight I kind of feel that pain.  You know, as a parent we want to trust our children. We want to believe that our kids will never lie to us, will never disappoint us, and will always hold themselves up and live for God.  Now, we all know that this is something that probably will not happen, but we always hope for that.  Well, I did anyway, which is why this is so hard.

This weekend was a hard one for our home.  We have found out many things that were just hurtful and we have lost our daughters trust.  It still hurts so bad, even as I write this, I must hold back tears.  I have always told my daughter the importance of keeping our trust, the importance of being a TRUE Christian young lady, the importance of morals and values.  So why is it that they still fall?  Okay, okay, I know why, but I have to ask.  This world is so deceitful and it just burns me up inside!  I am honestly so mad at Satan right now that if I could spit in his face and throw something at him I would.  Okay, so that isn't very Godly, but I don't think you understand the severity of this all.  My precious daughter has now broken her parents trust, and that is such a hard thing.  To sit there and have to ground her and take things away from her that she loves and to tell her that we don't trust her was probably one of the hardest things I have ever had to do.

The hardest thing to get her to  understand is our love.  We still love her, that has never changed, but trust was so special.  Trust was something that was given freely and was an honor to bestow on her, but now it is gone. And I hate not being able to trust her.  I hate having to treat her like a child again when she was growing up so well.  I hate having to take things away from her that she loves and having to humble her.  But I know that this is what  must be done.  I know that as a parent trying to raise Christian children, I must discipline.  God disciplines us, even when it hurts.  God trusts us with His children, so we  must discipline them, even when it hurts.

So what do we do now?  We continue to pray for her.  We continue to show her love and support, because that will never change.  We continue to guide her and show her how to regain that trust and to regain who she was before all of this took place.  But my heart is still heavy.  I still wonder if I did something wrong.  I still wonder where I went wrong.  And I still wonder if things will ever be the same.  My heart hurts, and now I have just a pinch of what Jesus must have felt that day.  Honestly, it is probably what He still feels when, we, His children, betray Him.  It gives me a whole new aspect of His love and what He wants and desires from us.  How can we maintain His trust and love?  Obey His commands, listen to His voice, have a relationship with Him.

Lord, as I continue to learn on this road of parenthood, guide me.  Stretch me.  Teach me.  Hold me when I am weak, and give me the words that build Your children up and doesn't break them down.  Lord, humble me so that I may be able to teach my children humbleness.  Lord, thank you for the opportunity to raise Your children, just help me to not make a mess of it all!  Amen

A tragic day..........

My heart hurts to badly right now.  I honestly don't know how many more tears I can cry or what else I can do.  Words do not express it and tears don't do enough.  One of "my girls" went on to be with the Lord today.  Yes, we should all be rejoicing, but she was only 15!  Death never seems to get easier, in fact, I think it gets harder.  Skylar was such a neat kid.  She had a personality that was all her own.  She didn't care what anyone thought, she didn't care to be popular, she didn't care about much of anything.  She did her own thing and was her own person and that was what was so awesome about her.  This year at camp, I really got to enjoy time with her, laughing and talking and just getting to know her a little better.  I will always cherish that time.  Just two weeks ago she was able to come to D-Now.  It was great to hug her neck and tell her that I loved her.  You know, watching these kids grow up, they become your kids.  And Erica, well she is still with us, but lots of broken bones.  But there were so many kids involved, and not because they were in the wreck, but because they witnessed it, because they tried to help, because they saw their friend lying in the road.  I can't even imagine.  So, as we all try to heal, please continue to pray for this town.  I love the Carpenter and the Blalock family both.  I love the families and the kids that were involved with this whole situation.  Most of them were my youth kids, and so they are my family.  I heard a song on the way home from the hospital and it's lyrics were this, "What can I say?  What can I do?  But offer this heart oh Lord, completely to you!"  What perfect lyrics at this time?  I don't have the words to say, and I know that I can't "do" anything, but at this point, I can offer this broken heart up to Him and let Him mend it.  Skylar, you were such a unique person and I loved you for that.  Thank you for allowing me to see you and to know you.  Shelbi, words cannot express my sincerest condolences.  I love you so much and want you to know that I am available for anything!  You and your family will be in our prayers.  Erica, I pray that you will heal quickly.  I pray for you and your family during this difficult time and know that God will carry you all through.  Mrs. Holcombe, I can't even imagine what you are going through.  I love you and pray that God would comfort you during this time. 
Lord, as I give my heart to You, I know that You are in control of this complete situation.  I honestly don't know what to say or what to pray.  I pray that You will hold each and every one of these families in Your arms.  I pray for guidance, peace, understanding, Your unfailing love and mercy.  I know that You are the healer, the Creator, the Father of all things and that You are in full control.  May you mend hearts, may You strengthen Faith, may You wrap each and every person in Your arms and love them.  May we as a community and family step up and show Christ's Love through our words and actions.  Father, take control of this situation and may You have all the Glory!  Amen!!
This is a couple of pictures of Skylar, just to remember her by.  Not that she needs it, because she was unforgettable.  But I love her, and this makes it a little easier................

Skylar, thank you for allowing me to wash your feet and to serve you.  I truly love you and you will forever be in my heart and mind.  You will be missed.  Can't wait to see you in Glory one day!!!  I love you!

Disciple Now 2011

 Well, since I am so not in the mood to do any kind of homework, I think I should blog.  And what do I want to talk about??  D-Now!!!  As my brother-in-Christ would say, Heck to the yeah!!!!!  Man, first of all, let me tell you, it was amazing!  I have always loved this weekend, ever since we started working with the youth.  It is an amazing weekend of worship and fun, and lives are changed.  Well, this year was a little different and a little harder.  This year, our youth was without a Youth Pastor.  Everyone has kind of stepped up and taken some kind of role to make sure that there was little change to our youth department.  And since I love D-Now so much, I stepped up to make sure that D-Now happened, regardless of any circumstance.  Well, it was a hard several months, but everything came together beautiful.  Despite the weather, which threw a kink in it, we were able to still have D-Now, with no problems!  Kacy Benson, our speaker, was able to make it up Thursday night before the 7 inches of snow hit us.  Cory Smith and one of his band members still came up from Dallas in all of the ice.  It did take them 5 hours to get here, but they were able to make it, although the other 4 members of their band were not.  His other band member was able to make it from Tyler, so that was a blessing as well!  So, Friday came and we decided that a "little" snow is not going to stop this thing, so we just locked all the kids up in the church for the night and continued on with what God was going to do that weekend!  And man, did God move!!  6 kids were saved that first night!!  The second day was a little different.  We were unable to do our water balloon fight, for obvious reasons, but we improvised!  This is the first year we invited parents, and although not too many showed up, we did have some that were there.  And the best thing about that, one of the dad's and his son got saved that night!!!  Praise the Lord!!  Was the stress and the long nights, loss of sleep, crying episodes all worth it??  ABSOLUTELY!!!  I was so happy to be a part of that weekend, and I am so glad that I had AMAZING people by my side helping me!!  We have some amazing youth workers, parents, and church members!  I was truly blessed to have a great team behind me!!  Kacy came to speak about purity, but luckily he let the Holy Spirit lead him, and the weekend turned into something more about purity of the heart, and unforgiveness, and brokenness.  And boy, did we have brokenness!!  When I first began working with the youth, I was not happy.  I did it because Daniel wanted us to.  I never would have thought that these kids would change my life.  I never thought that the questions I had about things in my past would be answered.  I never knew how I could find a place with them.  And now, I cannot see my life without them.  I have tried to walk away from them, but God pulls me back!  And even when the stress seems to be too much, and the kids don't seem to be growing, and you wonder why you are still where you are, there is that one thing, that one person, that one life that hugs you and tells you that they love you and are glad that you're here.  And that one time makes it all okay again.  Here are just a few pictures of the weekend!!  Hope you all enjoy!!

Freshman and Sophmore Boys

Junior and Senior Girls

Freshman and Sophmore Girls

Kacy Benson and his balancing act

Cory Smith and Nicholas Rice

Saturday night Communion

7th and 8th Grade Girls

Dodgeball anyone??  No you can't throw back!